


Kindred Spirits

by writermads



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: 1940s, Alternate Universe - Canada, Alternate Universe - Historical, Alternate Universe - World War II, Devoted Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren, Doctor Ben Solo, F/M, Fluff, Happy Ending, I took some creative liberties, I wrote this for Remembrance day and I have no regrets, Mentions of battles and violence, One Shot, POV Rey (Star Wars), Pregnancy, Sad with a Happy Ending, Smut, Their children are adorable, Themes of Anne of Green Gables, Time Skips, World War II, not fully historically accurate
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-11
Updated: 2020-11-11
Packaged: 2021-03-10 00:00:27
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 15,356
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27514969
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/writermads/pseuds/writermads
Summary: "Love does not begin and end the way we seem to think it does.Love is a battle; love is a war; love is growing up."- James BaldwinBen Solo makes a promise on the docks that day, and Rey decides to hold him to it.
Relationships: Rey/Ben Solo, Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Comments: 5
Kudos: 46





	Kindred Spirits

**Author's Note:**

> To honour my love for history, and my love of the east coast; I give you this. A not so short one shot that'll tug on your Reylo heartstrings. 
> 
> Mind the tags! 
> 
> Edit: I received a very long winded comment telling me all my historical inaccuracies. I’m not perfect and took some creative liberties to write the story l wanted. I have added this into the tags for any hardcore history buffs out there. I also study history, and realize the things I wrote weren’t fully accurate; this is “fiction” after all! 
> 
> Enjoy!

  
  


They had met in primary school, a few years after she had moved to the island. She had grown up primarily in Halifax but when both her parents passed, she was sent to live with an uncle she never really knew. She wasn't particularly enthused by the idea of moving out of the city, but as tall buildings turned into lush green pastures and red sand beaches; Rey was hooked. 

Lucky for her, her uncle Benjamin Kenobi was a kind man, and treated her well. She came to enjoy her time on the island, exploring every bit of nature she could within a five kilometer radius of her uncles home. The said homestead sat just outside the city limits of Charlottetown. It was large but cozy, and she was forever grateful to him for taking her in. She hadn't seen of spoken to him before he came to pick her up from the train station, but he came with a smile and the offer of hot cocoa once they returned home.

The first time she met Ben Solo she was most surprised by his height and overwhelming presence. His family had just moved back from Ottawa after his mother’s stint in the House of Commons. The kids in her class were surprised to see him back, yet she was intrigued. He was long and lean and easily towered over the other boys in her class. The girls would squeal in groups every time he looked their particular direction. Rey wouldn't come to know until later that he was always looking at her. 

They didn’t talk much that first year, she was more focused on her studies and he kept mostly to himself. Rey tended to stay with her three closest friends; Finn, Poe and Rose. They had graciously accepted her into their fold her first year on the Island. They would get up to all sorts of trouble once the alarm bell sounded, enough that she showed up at home past curfew; her dress stained with mud and a smile on her face. 

As nice as she perceived him to be, Ben stuck close to his old friends Gwen and Armitage. They were kind enough to her when she first came to the island, but soon paid her little attention once Ben came back. They were always seated in a group at the back of the room, whispering about who knows what. Poe came up with all sorts of stories about the trio, but Rey ignored him for the most part. She couldn't help but glance their way, only to lock eyes with Ben. 

The year before they were set to graduate secondary school was when they really started to become close. Ben started sitting next to her more often, and would occasionally ask her to eat lunch behind the schoolhouse with him. He was kind, and asked her about her like in Halifax. She hadn't felt close enough to tell him much, and would usually resort to relaying stories of her friends adventures. 

Those fresh autumn afternoons in the sun always made her smile, and she could never say no to a little bit of time in the sun, especially with Ben. The sunshine always brought out the beauty marks that peppered his pale face and she always found herself looking a little too close. He had a few particular ones she liked to examine, often moving his face with her hands to find the new ones that started to pop up. 

He would tell her stories of his time in the country's capital, and his mother's own experiences. It was almost unheard of for women to be elected into the House of Commons, but Leia was a strong woman, confirmed by Rey when she finally met her. She only met Leia briefly when she came to the school to talk about her experiences, but the woman was kind and treated Rey not as a child, but as a friend.

She didn’t talk about her past for a long time, but once the weather had chilled and their lunchtime rendezvous’ were moved indoors, she began to open up. She would only answer the most basic of questions at first, but once she knew she could trust him she went deeper. She knew he was listening when he would gently stroke her forearm, his eyes always on her. 

“You must miss them .. your parents.” He sighs to her one day as they sit watching snowfall on the steps of the school. The weather had been mild for the most part, but she knew the snow would start to stick soon.

“Everyday, but I don’t regret coming here.” She smiles, resting her head on his shoulder. She has to straighten her back to do so, but she signs in content. Rey can see the smile playing on his lips, a gentle smirk she maybe isn't meant to see. 

“Why is that? You must have had friends back home. I’m sure they miss you.” He replies, sticking his arm out to collect a couple flakes on the palm of his hand. He examines them before the melt and wipes his palm on his trousers. 

“Because I would never have met you.” She smiles, looking up at him. She catches the smile that spreads across his features. He doesn’t respond, but she can feel his grip around her waist tighten before they’re called back in for their afternoon classes. She doesn't spend much time with Ben outside of school, so little moments like this are all that she has to hold on to. 

One day she calls them kindred spirits, which makes him laugh. He thinks she’s much like Anne Shirley, with her spirited words and love of the outdoors. She decides if she’s like Anne, then he can be her Gilbert; he hides his smile when she says this. She knows their story, had read the book from cover to cover in record time; she hopes her and Ben's is much the same. 

Rey knows the exact day she realizes she loves Ben Solo. He had trudged a couple kilometers through a snowstorm to see her on Christmas Eve. He had said it was to bring her gift, but knowing she would see him the next day made her wonder his true intentions. Her uncles smirked when he let the poor boy in, waving a goodnight to the two of them. Uncle Kenobi had known the Solo's for years, this being the only reason he left his niece alone with the boy.

She doesn’t really remember what he had got her, she was more excited to see a red-faced Ben Solo show up at her door. She quickly sat him in front of her fireplace and rubbed at his shoulders to warm him. He was trying his best to hide his shivers, rubbing gently at his red ears. The snow had blown in quick and fierce but that never stopped a boy on a mission.

“You didn’t need to come all this way, I swear your mother invited us over tomorrow evening for supper.” She jokes, holding his ice cold hands in her own. He nods along to her sentiments, but still keeps the cheeky smile on his lips. 

“I wanted to see you today, the weather isn’t too bad.” He smiles, just as a particularly harsh bit of wind rasps against the living room window. Rey laughs until she cries, Ben following suit not long after. When they've finished and she's wiping tears from her eyes they fall into a hushed silence.

The crackling fire quickly warms them both, and it doesn’t take long before the warmth of Ben’s embrace and the ambiance of the room pulls her into near sleep. Her eyes are droopy and her breaths deep, Ben's solid frame holding her up is the only thing stopping her from falling asleep right there. 

“Rey, sweetheart. You’re nearly asleep, I should go for the night.” He whispers, pushing a stray curl away from her face. 

“No, no. You can’t go out in this weather. I’m sure my uncle won’t have any qualms with you staying the night.” 

“Are you sure he won’t have my head? A teenage boy staying in the same house as his niece.” His smirk is more evident than ever. 

“You’re my best friend Ben, and he’s extremely close with your parents.” She smiles, punishing herself for pulling the friend card. She’d had a crush on him for months now, but was always too scared to propose anything more. He never gave her any indication of wanting more, so she made herself believe she was okay with just being Ben Solo's friend. Maybe he was seeing someone else, she knew every other girl would be begging to be in her position. 

“I’d like to be more than just your friend Rey,” He whispers, moving to look at her. She can see the flickering of the flames in the reflection of his eyes. “I don’t think he’d want me here if he knew that.” 

“What do you mean?” She nearly stutters. 

“As much as I’d like to say I came here to give you your gift, I may have ulterior motives.” He smiles again, bringing his hand up to gently caress her chin. He tips her chin up to look at him, connecting their eyes once more. 

“What are you trying to say Ben?” She asks, scooting closer to him.

“I’ve seen you as more than my friend for a long time Rey, I’ve wanted you as more than a friend.” He whispers, his finger tracing a circle on her cheek. 

“Me too Ben, I want so much more than this.” She smiles, leaning into his touch. She knows he’s truly happy when the dimples in his cheeks pop and his eyes gleam. 

They had their first kiss that night, next to the dimming light of the fireplace. When they came back to school in the new year, all their friends cheered with joy at their revelations. It seemed that everyone around them had known about their attraction before they did, even the girls Rey knew to like Ben themselves. 

Rey thought that the winter got a little less harsh and spring came quicker when she had Ben. They hardly left each other's sides that spring, and when graduation came and went they never left one another. On their last day of school they walked home hand in hand, chatting aimlessly about what came next. She didn't have any set plans for school, and instead decided to put on foot forward into the workforce. 

Ben decided he wanted to study medicine in the city, and Rey was happy for him. She knew he would have to leave his parents house to be closer to school, thus leaving her. Her uncle promptly promised her full use of his automobile to go visit Ben a few times a week. It would be a transition not seeing him everyday, but she was happy to do so if it meant he got to do what he wanted. 

The summer before school started was a happy and exciting time, and the talk of war across the ocean never really made its way to Rey and her friends. They went on picnics at the beach, rowed down the river in the summer sunshine and hosted far too many drunken bonfires in the field behind her uncle's house. They laughed, and cried and swore that nothing could change their friendship or pull them apart. Ben laughed at their sentiments, but was promptly ignored as they continued on. 

Rey had taken up an administrative position at the local library to help save some money for when her and Ben's future. She wasn't entirely sure what their future held, but she was happy to dream about it. The library was quaint and smelled of parchment and old books; it quickly became her happy place. One time too many would Ben venture in to bring her home only to find her asleep in the back reading a book. 

It’s not until mid-September when she starts to notice more uniformed men their age walking down the streets. Rey starts to listen to the radio at work whenever she can, hoping she won’t hear a call for conscription. She knows it's only the beginning and that plenty of the countries young men were more than happy to enlist, but it still worried her. Luckily, as a medical student Ben would be safe here with a good job.

When they all meet at Ben's quaint inner city apartment for Christmas dinner, the war is all they can talk about. Everyday brings new revelations and as they get further into the conversations, she watches the spark in Poe's eyes. He was a wildcard, and as much as he had committed to attending college, she knew what he was truly interested in. 

She had never seen Ben show any interest in joining the cause, but she couldn’t ignore the couple of enlistment posters she had seen collecting on the coffee table each time she came over to see him. She had tried to bring it up to him, but was always assured it would never happen. She trusted him, but even as a bystander she could see the pride that enlisting brought the men in their town. 

“Poe’s been considering joining the Air Force.” Finn smiles as she and Rose finish up cleaning the dishes from dinner. She quickly catches herself from dropping the dinner plate she was trying to put away in a cabinet. Rose catches the look on her face, and tries to interject; Ben catches it too.

“Oh, I thought you were excited about College.” Rey asks, and Ben gives her a knowing look. She doesn’t project emotion well, and hadn’t been looking forward to the day one of the men in her life would decide to enlist. Poe was never her closest friend in the group, but she still considered him a sort of brother. 

“As much as anyone can enjoy finance … I just really like the adrenaline being a pilot could give me.” There’s a fire in Poe’s eyes when he speaks, and she knows he’s already made his decision. 

She wasn’t one for war, but if this is what made her friend happy; she knows she’d always have Finn and Ben. Poe had a spitfire personality, was a first class troublemaker; his choice made sense. She was 50/50 on whether or not the other two would choose to enlist. Finn was outgoing, but quiet around people he wasn't close with, he had wanted to work in law and Ben … well Ben she would never peg as a military man. 

“When are you considering enlisting?” She asks, trying to hide her obvious worry.

“Not until spring, everything is still so uncertain right now.” He smiles, finishing off the bit of liquid left in his glass. 

“Well don’t leave without a goodbye, we’ll have to have a good last bonfire before you go.” She smiles, refilling his glass and her own. It was nice to know they still had some time as a group, and that she was grateful for. 

**Spring 1940**

“Ben, what’s going on?” She asks, a full envelope in her hands. She had finished her work early for the day, and decided to come over to Ben's before he finished and make him tea. It wasn't often that she hand the full afternoon off these days. 

She in to find a package of forms slid under the threshold of his door, addressed to one Benjamin Solo. It didn't take her long to realize where they were sent from the meaning behind it. She can recognize the military insignia plastered on the front of the manila envelope. She had seen the same thing when Poe's enlistment papers came. 

When he strolled in later that evening, she was waiting nervously on the couch. She didn’t want to encroach on his privacy and kept the package closed. His eyes went from seemingly happy with his walk home to a sense of panic when he sees the envelope in front of her. She imagines he was going to tell her once he knew for sure, and did not expect to find her worried frame shaking nervously on his couch.

“Rey, I can explain.” He starts, dropping his bag to the ground and crouching to the floor in front of her.

“Please Ben, please don’t go this way.” There’s tears pricking in her eyes. She had sat here in near silence for almost two hours, thinking of what she could say to him. She had decided on anger, but when she sees the regret in his eyes she can only cry.

“I should’ve told you the minute I talked to the recruiter, I didn’t think they’d send everything so quickly.” He grasps at her hands, holding them there when she tries to pull away. He holds them firmly, bringing them against his chest. 

“You should’ve told me.” She can feel the first tear drip down her cheek, and he quickly collects it with his thumb. She knows his intentions are far from cruel, but it hurts her all the same. 

“I was going to, I promise. They came by the college last week, they’re looking for medical students to enlist as field doctors.” He’s trying to smile, but she can sense his unease. 

“They said I wouldn’t be on the front, I won’t see any of the action unless the situation gets dire.” She knows he’s trying to ease her worry, but it’s not helping. As much as she'd like to believe him, recruiters leave out some details when trying to enlist newcomers. Yes, he'd probably be away from the frontline, but he'd no doubt be traumatized by what he was going to see. 

“You told me when this started last year that you could never, that you would never leave me. I can’t lose you Ben.” She’s fully crying by this point, and all his attempts to ease her worries have ceased. He rubs gently at her shoulder, keeping his distance as best he can from his place in front of her. 

“Rey, there's always going to be talk of conscription, even if it never happens. I wanted to get ahead before I had no other choice. I can get my medical degree while I’m away and choose where to go.” He’s grabbing her head on both sides, forcing her to look at him. 

“I don’t know what to say.” She looks into his eyes. 

“Don’t say anything. I’m not doing this to hurt you sweetheart. I’m healthy and young and I can’t sit by and let others die.” There’s tears in his eyes as well. 

“When will you leave?” She whispers as he wipes another tear from her cheek. 

“In a couple of weeks, Finn and Poe decided to enlist with me.” She lowers her head in defeat. In barely a year she had gone from such a happy daily life to the possibility of losing three of the most important people in her life. The idea of losing her friends hurts her heart, but losing Ben … she can't bare to think of it. 

She nods, and wipes the remainder of her tears away with her sleeve. She thinks she can put up a strong front, but judging by just how wet her handkerchief is when she's wiped her cheeks; she's failed. She smiles gently, wiping away the few tears that have fallen down Ben's cheeks. 

“We all have to go for basic training for a couple of weeks. I’ll get to come home before I really leave, don’t worry sweetheart.” He’s trying to smile, to make her world seem less sad. 

She tries to speak, but ends up shrugging her shoulders and nodding. The only pertinent information she had gotten in the last couple minutes was that she still had a couple weeks … a couple weeks with the man she loved. She would choose to have in forever if she could, but for now a few weeks was good enough. 

“It’s getting late, I should get you home.” He’s pulling gently at her hands. 

“Okay.” She whispers, looking away from his eyes. She lifts herself from the comfort of his couch just as he pulls her into his chest. He smells faintly of the cleaning solution they use at the hospital, he was probably doing labs all day, or studying in the library. She can only faintly smell his aftershave underneath it all, the woodsy scent bringing her back home. She could never stay mad at Ben Solo for long, not when he kisses her gently and murmurs kind things in her ear to ease her pain. 

It’s a hot humid morning in June when they boys leave for their month in basic training. Her head still hurts from the copious amount of drinking she did the night before, but she gets up early for the boys sendoff. They're all standing stiffly in fresh new uniforms they had picked up from the army office the week before. They look dashing, and she can't help but smile after Finn and Poe set their hats on their heads. 

“You’ll write me won’t you?” She asks Ben when he comes to say his goodbye. She had finished giving quick goodbyes to the two other boys, waiting till last for the hardest one. 

“I’ll only be in Yarmouth for barely a month, but of course I’ll write.” He smiles, pulling her into his chest. She can smell that starch she had used when she pressed his brand new dress shirt, and the fabric of his jacket is rough against her cheek.

He doesn’t look himself, his often longer hair is shorter and gelled back behind his ears. His cap sits perfectly straight on the top of his head, but his smile is the same. She doesn’t understand why he’s smiling, but he is. 

“The ferry will be leaving soon, I’ve got to leave now.” He smirks, grabbing gently at each side of her cheeks before pulling her lips against his. It's bruising yet gentle and she hangs on for as long as she can. 

“I love you Rey, I’ll see you soon.” 

“I love you Ben.” She whispers, smiling as best she can at him. Once the three men have made their way onto the ferry, Rey turns and pulls Rose into a hug. She doesn’t stay to wave them down from the dock, she can’t bare Ben seeing her so upset. 

She writes to him twice that month, and receives prompt replies both times. He complains about the food and the bunks, but is happy to be out in the sun all day. He thinks he’s gained weight from all the muscle they’ve put on during PT time; Rey can picture the smirk on his face as he writes. She can also picture wheat's under the dress uniform he's wearing when his last letter includes a picture of the three men at their final mess dinner of basic training. Poe and Finn have bright smiles on their faces and Rey can just make out Ben's signature smirk. 

He tells her that Finn and Poe are doing well and they’ll all be back at the beginning of July. She’s sad when he tells her they’ll be shipped out to London the third week of the same month, making her realize just how soon that really is. She thought when Ben had told her weeks, it meant many more than three, but she could make it work. 

She’s taken to working later in the evening, surrounding herself with books and inventory to keep her mind busy. She and Rose see each other whenever they can, but she can’t help but feel the loneliness. Rose is busy in nursing school at the hospital, and Rey wishes she had such a passion to keep her busy. The quiet of the library is often maddening to her, but she can't help but surround herself in the calming atmosphere. 

The evening air is warm and she can feel the soft fabric of her dress sticking to her skin. She had gotten so used to taking herself home now that Ben wasn't there to drive her. She was happy to have the free time alone, but missed his teasing and joking. As she's walking down the stone steps of the library when she notices someone waiting for her. 

He looks different, maybe it's how his shoulders appear even more broad than before, or the sun kissed complexion of his skin. His usual lop-sided smirk is present on his lips and his hat is tucked neatly under his elbow.

Rey doesn’t hesitate, running down the stone steps and jumping into his arms. He was barely even a day's travel away but it felt as though she’d never see him again. He smells mildly of cigarettes and she can feel his body heat radiating through the thick uniform jacket. He doesn't hesitate in taking it off and draping it around her shoulders in pride. It was summer, but evenings like this one sometimes left a chill in the air. 

“Oh have I dreamed of seeing you waiting here for me this last month.” She beams, leaving small kisses across his face. He chuckles quietly under his breath, squeezing at her waist gently. 

“You missed me? I had no idea.” He laughs, setting her down and pulling her face in for a proper kiss. He may smell strange, probably from the other 300 men he just ferried over with, but his lips are just as soft. 

She hugs him for what feels like an eternity, enjoying his presence. When she’s sated, they walk home hand in hand. She had stayed at his place in the city a couple nights in the time he was gone, if not to remind herself of him when she thinks of just how long he'll really be gone. She decides they deserve some time together and doesn't hesitate when he offers for her to stay the night. Her uncle wouldn't know that he was home, he probably wouldn't mind if he did. 

It’s not till later when she’s tucked snuggly into his side in bed that her brain starts nagging her to ask him. She had thought about it a lot over the last couple weeks, but she had yet to let him weigh in. As much as she craved the opulent proposal she considered as a child, asking him herself seems just as nice now. 

“Ben, I’ve been thinking about something since you left.” She says softly, rolling onto her belly to look up at him. “I think we should-” 

“Stop, I know what you’re about to say.” He smiles, reaching over to pluck something from his side table. She furrows her brows as she watches, but smiles when she sees what he’s retrieved. She could identify the item in his hand from a mile away.

“This is never how I would’ve imagined doing this, not in a million years.” He warns, sitting up and pulling her up into his lap. He gently pulls open the small black box, and her eyes gleam when she’s it. It’s a simple gold band with a small but beautiful diamond inset at the top, the small stones extending out from the main one sparkle against the dim lights. 

“I always want to take care of you Rey, and in a couple weeks I’ll be leaving for who knows how long. I want this to be my promise, that I’ll always be with you, and I’ll always be there to protect you.” She can see the glassiness of his eyes, can tell he’s rehearsed this. She doesn't quite mind though; his words are beautiful and reassure her unease about their situation. 

“As excited as I am, I’m scared Rey. I’m scared I’ll leave you and my parents and never see you again, but this will give me hope. Marry me?” His eyes are full of hope, hope that she'll say yes so he can make good on his words. 

“Yes, of course.” She whispers, a small tear streaking her now reddened cheeks. “I’ll be your hope, I’ll always be waiting for you to come back to me.” 

A smile breaks out on his face, one she hadn’t seen since that cold Christmas Eve. He slides the cool metal of the ring onto her finger and pulls her against him, peppering kisses along her neck and jawline. She cries like a baby, and laughs when he cuddles into her. If she could live like this with him forever, she would.

“I love you Ben.” She smiles, holding his face in her hands. 

“I know.” He smirks, returning to her collarbone as she shrieks happily. 

It’s a small wedding, with only their closest friends and family in attendance. Rey had never seen Leia so happy when they told her the next day, and she happily offered up the garden in their backyard for the party. In barely two weeks they had managed to get all that they needed, and Rey couldn’t have been more happy. She found a pretty white dress in the city she knew was the right one, solely from Rose and Leia crying with joy when she came out of the dressing room. 

The ceremony was quaint and short, and Rey laughed when Ben fumbled over his vows from nervousness. She cried when they said I do and she laughed harder than before when her new in-laws and her uncle started drunkenly jigging at the reception. She had grown to love the Organa-Solo's, and couldn't be more happy to finally be apart of their family. 

Their wedding had been the best day of Rey’s life, and she couldn’t have been happier to spend it with all those people that loved and cared about them. When it was time for her and Ben’s dance alone, he pulled her close to him and whispered sweet things of their future into her ear. She knows his words are true, but there's a heaviness behind them. He promises her forever a week before he set's out to war, and promises her a long life together when she's uncertain if they'll get more than this. 

She was excited to start their life, to go on this crazy adventure with one another, but the shadow of the next week and the war always followed, reminding her why they were even getting married in the first place. She never wanted a big white wedding, but she didn't want a hurried one either. She wishes she could've given Leia more than two weeks to plan such an event, something she knows the older woman has been wanting to do since she realized her and Ben were more than just friends. 

Of course she wanted to marry Ben, but she always thought it’d be later on, and when they were wed they could travel the country and buy a big house in the countryside. Instead their wedding was quick, and intimate; and her husband was leaving to fight a war in one week. 

Her uncle drunkenly offers them his house to stay the night, and more than once tells them he’s staying at the Solo's so as not to interrupt them. They both go beet red, and Ben quickly tells her uncle goodnight; along with their other guests, before stealing her away. 

They walk the small distance up the road to her uncle's house, hand in hand. She giggles like a schoolgirl at his dirty mouth, and blushes even harder when he’s stripped her naked and carried her to bed. They had never truly given in to ones desires before, only some heavy petting in his car before she said goodnight. Rey was by no means religious, but she had wanted to save this special moment for her wedding night regardless. She wanted to give herself to Ben, and he wanted the same in return. 

She watches him undress, admiring the muscles on his body that weren’t previously there. Being in the military had done him some good, and Rey was happy to look. He takes his time, watching her with dark eyes as he peels away layers of his dress uniform. Rey would tell him out loud, if not to spur on his ego; she really did enjoy a man in uniform. 

“I think basic training did you some good.” She whispers as he unbuckles the belt of his suit pants. Both of their faces are flushed with need, he chuckles and drops his pants to the floor, along with his briefs. He continues to watch her, a smirk on his lips as she squirms on top of the covers. She knew they'd do this eventually, but the idea of doing so in her childhood bedroom makes her giggle. 

“I don’t appreciate you objectifying me like this sweetheart.” He smirks, walking up to her. She quickly spreads her thighs, and he nestles himself in between them, his forearms holding him steady on either side of her head. He peppers gentle kisses over her face and neck, making sure he's not left any patch of skin untouched. 

“Shh, let’s not focus on that.” She smirks, snaking her hand around to grip at his back. His skin is hot, and his eyes are focused on hers. She doesn't think about the pain some girls in school had told her she might feel, only focusing on his arms wrapped around her and the feeling of his skin on hers. 

“Look at you, so flushed and beautiful.” He smiles, his hand reaching down to brush at her opening. She’s wet and ready and moans quietly at the idea of his touch. “So ready for me. Tell me if it's too much?” 

She nods, sighing as he presses a finger inside her. He does so gently, only adding a second when he knows she's ready. Hers are nothing in comparison to his, and it takes her a few seconds to adjust. When she's squirming and ready, he groans and lines up with her entrance. She knows he's holding back, and why. He well endowed, almost too much so that she's worried how exactly he'll fit. 

"Will … will it fit?" She whispers, watching him as he strokes himself. His cheeks redden with her question before he nods. 

"I'll be gentle sweetheart." He waits for her nod before aligning himself and pushing in. He stops momentarily when her breath hitches, but continues to the hilt with a nod of her head. The pain subsides almost instantly, flushed away by her desire for him. She knows he's holding back, his face straining as he slowly drags in and out of her. 

“More Ben … please.” She moans quietly, her nails digging into the skin of his back. 

“Patience my love, we have all night. I have every intention of taking my time with you.” He murmurs as he pushes in deep, to the hilt. It feels immaculate, like she’s in heaven and when he starts to pull out, only to push back in just as slow … she cries out. 

“God, you feel so good Rey.” He moans, his pace picking up just slightly with his admission. He cradles her gently in arms as he sweeps in and out of her. She decides she’ll never get used to his sheer size, and she moans quietly when he hits a particularly sweet spot inside her. 

“Please, Ben. I want more.” She’s breathless and flushed, but she’s sick of his slow pace. He seems to agree and starts to pick up his pace, each thrust hitting deeper and deeper within her. Her first orgasm comes quickly with a shout as he shifts his hips to hit the spot he knows she likes. 

“So beautiful … my sweet wife.” He whispers, pushing the stray pieces of hair that have swept over her face. He looks blissful and content, and she gives him the okay to do whatever he wants. Ben immediately picks up his pace, pushing into her with almost reckless abandon. 

She hugs him close and wraps her ankles around his hips. This seems to do something and she can see him holding back. 

“I .. I should pull out love. Make a mess of you.” He mutters between breaths. 

“No … I want to feel you.” She mewls, pulling him into her. He stops his movements and wipes his brow, looking into her eyes. 

“Ar- are you sure?” He asks and continues when she smiles and nods to him. They both know what could happen, but Rey doesn’t care. She loves him, and he’s her husband. They had tonight to be reckless, to not think of the consequences of their actions.

He continues at a brutal pace and reaches down to aid her in a second orgasm. She gently crashes over the edge just as he does, breathing heavily as his body goes through the motions of his own release. When their breathing has settled, he rolls over to lay next to her, collecting her in his arms. 

“I’ll dream of this, of you in my arms every night darling.” He murmurs, kissing the delicate skin behind her ear. 

“Shh, we still have a week. Let’s not think of then, just now.” She smiles, hugging his arms against her and closing her eyes. 

“No amount of time will ever be enough sweetheart.” He whispers, pulling the thin sheet bunched at the bottom of the bed over their naked bodies. She nods in her half asleep state as their breathing evens out and they fall asleep to the soft sounds of the summer night. 

They’re first week as newlyweds was full and busy. They spent nearly everyday at his parents home and enjoyed they’re last days together. Rey had asked Ben what he wanted to do, but he never gave an answer. He was fully content in living out the week as if nothing had changed, as if he wasn't leaving. 

She had decided they would do all their normal summer activities. They spent all day at the beach two days before Ben left, splashing and screaming in happiness as if they were still school children. Their friends joined them at sunset and they spent the night telling stories and enjoying their final night together. She would miss her boys, would miss their antics and jokes. She loved Rose as a sister, but she could only be away from them for so long. 

Rey had decided she wanted to spend Ben’s last night on the island alone together, and so they did. She made him supper and they drank champagne, and when they’re swaying to soft music in his living room does she truly realize what’s happening. 

“Don’t go … we could sneak away together. Away from the real world.” She whispers, their hands clenched together as he guides her. 

“You know I can’t do that. I’ll come back, I promise sweetheart.” He stops, and looks into her eyes. She imagines just how horrible she looks, crying into his chest. 

“And if you don't?” Rey whispers, her head resting on his chest. She doesn't know what he'll say, only that it won't ease her worries. 

"Then you promise me you'll live a good life. You'll always have our families, I know my mother will always think of you as her own." He smiles only briefly, as if to ease her head. "And I hope that if I can't be here for you, you'll find someone worthy of that big heart of yours." 

"I love you Ben." She cries out, tears staining his button up. 

“I love you too, always.” He responds, kissing the top of her head and continuing to sway to the soft melodies coming from the radio. Rey takes a mental picture of this moment, as too remember it for as long as she can muster. 

He leaves early the next day, and has to pry himself from her arms when it’s time to once again board the ferry. She had already said goodbye to Finn and Poe, and they’re smiling sympathetically behind him as she says goodbye.

“You’ll write?” She asks, teary eyes and red faced. 

“Of course, when I can.” He replies, straightening his tie and placing his hat back on his head. She’s had to cut his hair, he was worried it had grown too long to properly fit under his hat. She thinks he looks dashing, with his slicked back hair and broad shoulders. He looks just as he did on their wedding day less than a week ago, as much as she thinks its been an eternity. 

“Come back to me Ben, I want you to promise me that.” She whispers in his ear as he turns to go. 

“I promise, I’ll see you soon.” He pops his signature smirk, kisses her knuckles and grabs his rucksack. He doesn’t look back at her, she knows this because he’s trying to hide the sadness in his eyes. 

Rey doesn’t look back either once she’s turned away, and just like last time she doesn’t wait around to wave the three men goodbye. 

“They’ll be okay Rey, they’re too smart for their own good. If Ben has anything to do with it, he’ll make sure they come home safe.” Rose assures her, grabbing her hand as they take the scenic route back to their apartment. Ben had given her the keys before he left, told her she could stay there, or move out once the lease was up. 

She nods her head, and wipes the final tears from her cheeks. As sad as she was, she couldn’t ignore the fact that her life would go on with Ben across the ocean. She couldn’t sit in solemn silence forever; she was young and should take advantage of it.

“You’re right, let’s go grab tea.” She smiles, looping her arm around Rose’ and leading her to their favorite café downtown. 

**October 1940**

She had been feeling unwell for a couple of weeks, so much so that her uncle has asked multiple times if she was alright. She had likened it to stress from her promotion at work and the news from the frontlines. Her uncle was a kind and caring man, but he didn't often notice when she was feeling off, but was particularly concerned this time around. 

It had taken a couple weeks for Ben’s first letter to arrive, and she had cried while reading the beautifully written piece of paper. Hers hadn’t been so nicely written, and a few tears had smudged her scratchy penmanship. Her writing was nothing compared to his, something he would hold over her till the day she died. 

Rose had suggested she see a doctor when it first started in early September, but she waved it off and continued on with her life. It was now nearing mid-October and she had felt worse by the day. The onset of vomiting had started the previous week, and Rey was becoming suspicious. Other than a particularly bad bout of the flu as a child she had stayed surprisingly healthy a majority of her life. 

She had chosen to visit Leia and Han for Sunday supper, and her mother-in-law had sensed something was wrong, promptly pulling her into the sitting room after she had picked quietly at her food. In Han’s words, “She never said no to a meal.” 

“Will you tell me why you’re not eating, is something wrong?” The older woman asks as Rey finds a seat at the counter. 

“I haven’t the slightest clue, I’ve just been so tired as of recently and so sick to my stomach every day.” Rey shrugs, picking quietly at her nails. 

“Hmm, I think I have an idea.” Leia ponders, taking a seat next to Rey with a smile. “When I was pregnant with Ben, I had the absolute worst morning sickness, it left me bedridden for hours every day.” 

Rey nods silently, the realization only hitting her at the last possible moment. She feels her stomach lurch and her heart stop momentarily. She knows it was always a possibility but it wasn’t guaranteed. She doesn't think their one chance together would equal out to this. 

“You don’t think I’m …” She trails off, her hand resting gently below her navel. 

Leia smiles and nods, pulling her into a firm hug. Since knowing Ben, Leia had become somewhat of a mother figure to her. The woman had helped her with everything in these last few years, for which she was thankful. She wasn't surprised the universe had decided Leia would be the one to receive this information first. 

“I can assume you’ve done the math, that would make you … twelve weeks approximately?” The older woman’s guess would be correct. Ben had been gone for just about three months, there's no surprise how it adds up. 

“Yeah, that sounds about right.” Rey smiles genuinely for the first time since Ben left, and the small swell she’s now noticed from her midsection rests below her fingertips. She had always had a smaller frame, lean from head to toe. She's surprised she hadn't noticed it any earlier. 

“You need to tell Ben, whenever you write to him next; he’ll be ecstatic.” She smiles, “He’ll make a wonderful father Rey.” 

“Thank you Leia, I don’t think I would have survived these last few months without you.” She smirks, wiping a tear from the corner of her eye. Her mother-in-law was right, Ben would be a wonderful father. He hadn't talked much about having children of his own, but she would notice the way his eyes lit up when he took care of the younger kids in school. When a toddler would wave at him on the street he would always wave back with a kind look in his eyes. 

“If you need anything, you ask me. I want only the best for my soon to be grandchild.” The older woman’s smile is bright and happy and Rey can’t help but smile back. As much as this was a blessing, she couldn’t help but be angered that Ben wouldn’t be around to witness this part of their child's life. 

She decides to wait until her Christmas letter to Ben to tell him the news, and she hovers her hand gently over her growing bump as she writes the words. He has yet to leave London, but has been assisting in the civilian hospitals. 

_My dearest Ben,_

_I hope all is well in London, and I wish I was there with you tonight. I’ve been thinking of you a lot lately, especially these last few weeks. I’ve been seeing Rose as much as I can and your mother invites me over for tea as often as she can. The snow finally blew in a few weeks ago, so I’ve been keeping to the apartment and the library whenever possible._

_There’s been other news, lovely news. I’ve been waiting so long to tell you this, but it’s Christmas and this news is a blessing. I only wish we could experience this together, but I know you’re working tirelessly to make things right._

_I guess it’s time I tell you … otherwise Leia will have my head. I was feeling so unwell for so long and your mother made me realize why. I’m pregnant Ben, you’re going to be a father. I hope you don’t mind me waiting to tell you, I promise you aren’t missing all that much._

_Please be safe, and come home to me … to us. The doctors expect I’ll give birth in April, my only wish being that you’ll be there to help me. I love you so much Ben, I’m so excited to meet the little one, and so overjoyed to be creating this life inside me._

_I’m also scared, as everyday brings new challenges. The library is starting to notice my growing physique, and I imagine they’ll dismiss me in the new year. Your mother offered to let me move into the big house, and I accepted._

_I pray every night that you’ll come home soon, especially now. I pray you’re safe and warm and well fed, that you’re making friends and saving lives. I love you Ben, so much._

_Love, your worried yet happy wife._

His response arrives two days after Christmas, when the post office has reopened after the holiday. He’s ecstatic and overjoyed and says in a bit too much detail how he wishes he could kiss and hold her. She can smell the gunpowder on the paper, can only imagine what he's dealing with. 

It makes her cry, and Rose holds her through her tears. She’s so thankful for Rose, for how supportive and amazing she’s been these last few months. She could be focusing on school or her job and she does, but she’s also there for Rey when she’s going through the thick of it.

She decides to quit her job at the library in February, as much as she loves it, she knows they’ll ask her to leave eventually in her “state”. It angers her but she chooses to go quietly, and one of the other librarians promises her she can come back whenever she wants. 

Watching Han, Ben’s uncle Luke and her own uncle move her limited amount of personal items into Han and Leia’s house makes her laugh, it brings a little bit of light back into her life. She tells Ben about her amusement in her next letter, and how she would've loved to see him alongside them. The four of them together is always a good time, but there's only so much she can handle of Solo/Skywalker/Kenobi bonding time. 

The transition to living with her in-laws goes smoothly; having Leia doting on her and her unborn child all the time isn’t half bad either. Han lets her tinker on his projects and she smiles and watches as he tries to fix up his old vehicle in the garage after supper each night. He called it "The Falcon" which Rey thought was funny, considering it did run nor fly like a falcon. Han was optimistic he could get it running by the summer. 

Her life is easy and happy, and sometimes she forgets what's happening outside the little bubble that is the Island. Some nights she tries to forget the news reports from Europe, and the horrors they announce every evening. Instead she thinks of Ben. 

**March 1941**

She’s outside in the garden in early spring, trying her best to weed the daisies that have started blooming from one of Leia’s many flower beds. She can’t do much over the sheer size of her swollen midsection, but she tries her best. 

“Rey!” She barely hears it the first time, she has soft jazz playing on one of Han’s many old radios. She whistles along, smiling in the new sunshine of spring. 

“Rey?” It’s barely a minute before Rose is shaking her shoulder, pulling her from her garden day dream. It’s not like her friend to be so hurried, and she looks shaken. 

“Rose? What’s wrong.” She asks, turning and slowly standing to meet the height of her friend. The smaller woman has tears in her eyes and her hair is just as frazzled as her tone of voice. 

“It’s … just come with me.” She pulls at Rey’s hand and she follows. She drops her multiple garden tools on the grass, letting her friend pull her to a car that’s still running in front of the house. 

They ride in silence and every so often she glances at her friend. She’s worried, but stays silent. If Rose is this frazzled it must be important, so she tries her best to stay calm. When they pull up outside of the new military hospital downtown, she’s confused. 

“Rose, why here?” She asks, waddling out of the car. 

“I’ll show you, just come on.” She pulls her again, and the two quietly march down the clean hallways of the newly commissioned hospital. They had opened it months prior, for the rehabilitation of soldiers who have been injured in the war. 

She smiles kindly at the men she sees walking in the halls, some are more than happy to return the gesture, and others stare at her with blank eyes. She knows shell shock is a real problem, and she just kindly averts her eyes as they pass by. She imagines they must not get many visitors so she replies kindly to their small sentiments when given the opportunity. 

Rose had just started working here in January, had decided she was serious about being a nurse, and had more than once considered becoming a field nurse with Ben. Rey always knew why she stayed, knew it was because of her. Rose would never say it out loud, but she didn’t want to leave Rey alone to worry about her friends; and she was thankful for that. She doesn’t know what she would do without her, especially in the coming weeks. 

“In here.” Rose nods to an open door full of sunny light. 

“Rose, why are we here?” She stops her friend just as they enter the room, ignoring any others inside. “You know I shouldn’t be around sick people, my immune system isn’t really the best right now.” 

Rose nods and smiles, resting her hand on Rey’s belly. She nods her head behind her, to a row of beds along the window. She doesn’t immediately notice who’s in the last one, until she does. He looks thinner than the last time they saw him, but the same light still shines in his eyes. 

“Finn!” She nearly shrieks, running to the end of the room and pulling her best friend into her arms. He’s frailer than she remembers, but still the same man she knew and loved. 

“Hi Peanut.” He whispers, pulling her into his arms. 

“What happened, why are you here.” She asks, pulling away and looking over him. 

“They were sending us to Germany, but we got cornered in the English channel by some German bombers.” He looks down, and grasps gently at her hand. 

“One minute we were singing shanties in the dining hall and then next the whole ship was up in flames. Luckily some Englishman pulled me into a lifeboat. It was horrible, I had never experienced something so awful, Rey.” He looks down. 

“I didn’t notice the piece of shrapnel in my left leg until we got to the mainland, it must have been the adrenaline that stopped the pain.” He lets go of her hand and sweeps the blanket off his legs. She covers her mouth with her hand, tears welling up in her eyes. Finn had always been a good runner in school, he lived a particularly active lifestyle. 

“I woke up three days later, it was gone. They said the infection was one of the worst they’d ever seen, I was lucky to be alive.” The lower half of his left leg is gone, ending just above his knee. 

“I’m so sorry Finn, but you’re alive. You’re home.” She smiles, pulling her friend into a tight hug. He hugs her back, quickly noticing her swollen belly. 

“And you, you have something to tell me.” He chuckles, resting his hand on her stomach. She laughs and lets her hand rest above his. She's knows the baby is asleep right now, but she hopes for his sake it decides to wake up and give her a quick kick. 

“I assumed Ben would’ve told you, I wrote him back around Christmas.”

“We got split up when we arrived in London, Poe was immediately sent to the air force base and Ben to the military hospital.” He grimaces. 

“I wasn’t expecting to see either of them anytime soon. When I woke up in that field hospital in France, Ben was sitting beside me.” Finn smiles. 

“He was there, in France?” She’s confused, and a bit hurt. The last time she had received a letter from him, he was still in London. 

“Yeah, he didn’t tell you? He got sent there in January to aid the civilian hospitals on the coastline.” 

“He didn’t, I think he just wanted to keep the news light.” She smiles back at her friend. She knew he was smart, that doing his job in another country didn’t necessarily mean he was in any more danger. The Germans were focusing their efforts elsewhere for now, so he was safe. 

“He told me I would be going home, honorable medical discharge.” Finn smiles. “He told me to take care of you, now I know why.” 

“Of course he did.” She laughs. Rose has been standing behind them this entire time and laughs along with them. Ben was nothing but a good man, and a good husband. If he couldn't be there for her himself, he sure as hell would make sure Finn would take his place. She was happy to have her friend home, but didn't need him feeling any pressure to take care of her.

“Now that I’m home, Rose can go and do what she wants.” He tells her, his eyes averting to their friend. “I’ve read your letters, I know you want to go be a field nurse.” 

“Oh, it’s alright. I’ve got to keep an eye on you two now.” Her smile is forced but she does it anyway. 

“No. We’ll be okay, we’ve got each other.” Rey smiles at Finn and then back at her friend. She knows Rose has been dying to join the action, and with Finn’s return, she can. 

“I won’t enlist till May, so I know you’re okay and I can meet that godchild of mine.”

Rey smiles and laughs, pulling Rose into a hug. These next few weeks would be full of exciting things. She asks a doctor and Finn would be able to come home soon, and Leia immediately offers to let him stay in one of their guest rooms until he’s able to get back on his feet; or foot according to Han. 

When he’s moved into the house, life gets twice as better as it was before. They had been close before, but having Finn there 100% of the time gives them every chance to become the best of friends. They stay up late in the garden watering beds of flowers while he tells her stories from his seven months across the ocean. 

The last few weeks of her pregnancy go by quickly with so many people surrounding her. She and Finn go on short walks down the road each day, until both of them are tired from their own separate ailments. 

When they finally get back to the house, Rey’s back is sore and she’s out of breath. Finn doesn’t look nearly as tired, simply wiping a bead of sweat from his forehead. 

“So I lose a leg and I can still crutch my way around quicker than you?” He chuckles, sitting next to her on the swinging patio chair. 

“That’s a fair point, but I am carrying a whole other human inside me.” She grins back, pushing him gently on the shoulder. 

“Touché.” He responds, smiling when Leia greets them with a tray of waters. 

“I thought you may need these after your excursion, you look absolutely tiresome; the both of you.” She laughs, handing each of them a cool glass. Rey knows she's joking, but she smiles along anyways. 

Rey nods, thanking her quietly. She had been trying to hide her mild contractions all day, but with each one came a more painful sting. She smiles through it, but both Leia and Finn turn away from their conversation at the small grunt that leaves her lips.

“Rey, are you okay?” Finn asks, resting an assuring hand on her shoulder. 

“Ye- Yeah. I’ve just been having some pain today, I’m sure it’s nothing.” She grimaces, leaning back on the cool wood of the bench. 

“I’ll call for your midwife, maybe it’s best if you just get a quick check-up.” Leia responds, straight faced as she walks back into the house. 

“Let’s get you inside Peanut, you must be exhausted. I’m sure everything's alright but it’s best to be careful.” Finn prods, helping her up as they both waddle their way into the house. 

“I thought he would be here with me Finn, I’m not so sure I can do it without him.” She whispers when they’ve made it to her room. Finn’s smile back is kind, but she knows he isn’t quite sure how to respond. 

“We all hoped the War would end quickly, but I’m not so sure about that anymore. I’m sure he’s killing himself that he’s not here, he’d want nothing more.” His response is kind, but not what she’s hoping for. 

The midwife comes within the hour, and confirms that Rey is indeed in active labor, and probably has been most of the day. She commends her on her pain threshold and quickly gives her a small does of morphine for said pain. Its excruciating, and she doesn't hesitate to scream out a string of profanities every chance she gets. 

She had assured her midwife she wanted to do this as naturally as possible, but lord was she regretting that the further she went. She was happy to have Leia to support her, and Rose was able to come and see her when she finished at work. Everything goes by quicker than expected and within a couple of hours she’s gracefully given birth to not one, but two healthy babies. She had never expected two, but was always suspicious of how big her belly had gotten in the last few months. 

She falls in love with them immediately, crying when she spots the already prominent features of their father; most noticeably their dark raven hair. She’s sure they’ll have her eyes, but Ben’s ears are already poking out from under their hair. She strokes each ones heads, her eyes hazy with tears and tiredness. 

She doesn’t decide on names for either of them right away, she hadn’t expected to get a boy and a girl this first time around. Her and Ben had never talked about this stuff but he had sent some ideas over in his last letter. She happily hands them both off to Leia, who’s smile hasn’t gone away since the realization she was getting two grandchildren. Han had stayed out of the way, but quickly scoops up the baby boy with a goofy smile. She knew they had been good enough parents to Ben, and of course they had gone through their hardships. She had no doubts they would be excellent grandparents. 

Once she’s rested enough to regain some strength, she quickly writes a new letter to Ben. She tells him of the surprise of getting two, and the features they both show. In the matter of hours she can tell they have his hair, ears and nose. Luckily for her they have her eyes, and both their cheeks are dotted with faint freckles. They are a perfect mix of him and her, and she could ask for nothing more. 

She cries happy tears as she finishes the letter; which includes her newly found choice for their names. When Leia brings both newborns back to her, she hands off the letter with a smile, sure that she will mail it promptly the next morning.

**April 1943**

“Anakin! Put that down, you’ll poke your eye out.” She shrieks, running to catch the toddler before he really gets the chance to hit his sister with the large stick in his hand. He had come suspiciously close to hurting both himself and his sister in the matter of minutes. 

She gently scoops him up, leaving sloppy kisses over his head of dark hair. He giggles wildly, pushing her away from him and trying his best to squirm out of her reach. She lets him go, but not before grabbing the stick and throwing it across the hedge into the nearby field. 

“Momma, no.” He crosses his arms and sticks his bottom lip out in a pout. 

“You have so many lovely toys from Grandma, why don’t you go find one of those.” She smirks, pointing at a toy car across the garden. He smiles, running happily towards it and immediately forgetting his other conquest. 

“I swear, he’ll be the death of me.” She laughs, sitting next to Finn at his spot at their table. They’ve finished supper, but they both sip quietly out of full, warm tea cups. The other twin, Allana sits quietly beside her coloring with her newly purchased crayons; a very nice gift Han had brought home that afternoon.

“Momma? When is Papa coming home?” Her question makes Rey’s smile fall, but she quickly perks back up to answer her daughter. 

“Soon sweetheart, he’s working very hard to make people better across the ocean.” She points to their view of the coastline, smiling. She nods, going back to her coloring. The twins had been asking about Ben since they could talk; there was only so much she could say. She shared pictures with them, from fresh faced high school memories to new photos he’d sent in his brand new Major uniform. He had been promoted in March, and was happy to send photos to gloat his new rank. She told them stories, and as much as it hurt her, promised them he would come home once he had fixed everyone that needed him. 

“Papa said in his last letter he was going to try so hard to send you both something for your birthday.” She smiles, sipping her tea. In reality, Ben had told her that time’s were tough, he barely ate on a good day. So she went shopping in the city for two new toys for the twins. He had given her ideas on what they would like, but he only knew them so well. 

The two were sweet, and reminded her so much of Ben. Anakin looked like a near carbon copy and each time he popped that signature lopsided smile, her heart melted. Her family doted on them, and they never went a day without feeling loved. As much as they wanted their Dad, they had three lovely grandparents, a sort of uncle and a doting mother. Rey was happy her two children would grow up with so much love in their lives, even if it was without Ben. 

“Leia mentioned a letter came for me from Ben’s hospital, do you mind watching them for a bit?” She asks quietly. She had putting off reading it for a majority of the day, knowing the information inside wouldn't be too positive. She was hoping for the best, knowing if could range from him being injured, to being taken prisoner, to death. Dear god she hoped it wasn't any one them, especially the last one. 

“Of course, go.” Finn replies, waving her away as he turns his attention to helping Allana with her coloring. 

She quickly makes her way inside, swiping the sealed letter waiting for her on the counter. She passes Leia and Han in the sitting room and makes her way to her bedroom at the top of the stairs. She had hoped to move out on her own, but times had gotten tough on the Island with so many gone and it just wasn’t fathomable.

Usually Ben addressed his letters from whatever post office he could find, so receiving one from the Surgeon-General's office was alarming. The paper is crisp and the writing inside doesn’t match Ben’s normal loopy script. 

_Mrs. Solo,_

_We hope you are well during these tough times, and hope life has been as normal as possible back home. We have heard many stories from Major Solo about you and his children, and are so sorry to be the bearers of bad news._

She can already feel the tears coming, and has to wipe her eyes to keep reading the handwritten letter. 

_We regret to inform you that in the early morning of April 21st, 1943 there was an attack on the field hospital Major Solo was assigned to. There were many casualties, and we have been led to believe Major Solo was included as one of the casualties. When it comes to these types of attacks, the amount of survivors is … slight._

_Included in this envelope are a set of dog tags we found in the rubble belonging to your husband. We hope these bring you some solace as we face the facts of his death. The attack was brutal and a large majority of our operations were destroyed beyond repair. If we are able to come up with any additional information, we will happily send it your way. We are all mourning the losses of this attack, and give you our greatest sympathies in these dark times._

_May you find peace in these uncertain times, and god bless you._

She doesn’t read the rest, instead bunching up the paper and throwing it across the room. She shakes the remaining envelope violently, forcing the smooth metal of the enclosed dog tags into the palm of her shaky hand. They're rusted and dirtied from an evident explosion, but she can still make out the engraved information after she wipes furiously at the metal. 

“No, no, no.” She whispers, her breathing starting to pick up with the gravity of the situation. She had heard of what women turned into when they received this exact news, or the shell of a human they often become. Rey knows she can't do this, she has two children to take care, his two children. She can see the thick tears guarding her line of sight, threatening to fall down her cheeks. 

The metal is cool in her fingers, and she twists each one around until she’s able to read the information inscribed. 

_Solo, Benjamin_

_Major (Medical)_

_Canadian_

_Catholic_

It’s the most basic information for the most interesting individual. It said all it needed to say, who he was, what he did and where he was from. She doesn’t understand how such basic information could describe such a wonderful person. It's all they needed, if it ever came to identifying a body … and she didn't even have that.

Ben had always said in his letters, if she received his tags, he would be gone. She never quite fathomed the possibility of this moment until now, but holding the cool metals tags in her hand she's flooded with her emotions. Ben had promised her everything, and the universe had stolen him from her, broken his promises. She yells out in anger, hugging the tags to her chest. 

She doesn’t notice her sobs until she can hear people running up the stairs. She can see Leia's face first when she finds her way to the doorway. Rey barely gets a chance to look at her before the older woman runs in to hug her. 

“There was an attack, at the hospital. He's gone." She feels the tears pooling on Leia's dress, but the two women ignore it. 

“Shh, it’s alright.” The older woman hushes her cries, reminding her the twins could come up any second. She hands her his tags, and sees the older woman's demeanor shift immediately. Leia was never one for showing her emotions, but her time on the island and the arrival of the twins had softened her demeanor. 

“They wouldn’t have sent them if they weren’t sure.” Her face goes stoic as Leia examines what she’s handed her. “Right?” 

She nods, dropping her head as a tear drips down her blouse. They embrace in a tight hug again, crying into each other's shoulders. They can hear Han come in not long after, enveloping them both in a strong embrace. She knows they're hiding their pain, if only to ease her worries. He was their son, there's only so much they can hide. Even as a new parent herself, the idea of losing a child is a painful one. Ben was so young, primed to leave a lasting impact of this earth and it was torn away from him so quickly. 

When she’s cried all the tears she can muster, she heaves her body down the stairs. Anakin and Allana are laughing and playing with Finn in the garden … for a second it makes her smile. She imagines it’s Ben, chasing after the two children he’ll never truly get to know. It was always a possibility, but having two nearly carbon copies of him was going to make the news even harder to comprehend. 

“Ani .. Allana! Grandma and Grandpa want to help you get ready for bed.” She smiles, shooing them from the yard and back onto the porch. She knows Finn can sense her mood change, but he keeps his smile stuck to his face. 

“You’ll come kiss goodnight Momma?” Anakin asks, tugging at the bottom of her dress. 

“Of course sweetheart.” She kisses the tops of their heads before they go running up the stairs to their bedroom. 

Finn doesn’t say anything when he sees the new addition of Ben’s tags around her neck, instead pulling her into a tight hug. She begins to sob again into his shoulder when he pulls her tighter into his arms. 

“He’s gone.” She cries, wiping her eyes as fresh tears threaten to blur her vision. 

“Shh, it's going to be okay." Finn tries to soothe her as best he can, but there's only so much she can take. She's angry, angry that he even left her in the first place, angry that he couldn't live up to his promise; that he'll never get to meet his own children. 

Eventually the tears end again and they go back into the warmth of the house. She can hear the twins screaming and splashing the tub upstairs. When they’ve tired themselves out, she tucks them in and kisses them both goodnight. She'll let them down gently, once she's figured out a child appropriate way to tell them their father's dead. She could be blunt, but their so young and naïve … they don't deserve to hear it like that. 

“What happens now?” Finn asks, when they’ve all sat down together in the sitting room. Rey opens her mouth to respond but is quickly cut off by Leia.

“We pray there was a mistake and if it's really true, we do right by Ben." 

**March 1945**

The war was nearly over, at least according to the newest reports on the radio. The Allies had moved into Germany and Poland, and had liberated as many people as they could. She could sense the Island’s anxiety starting to end, as more and more troops came home. She watched as hopeful wives waited at the docks for there husbands, crying out in happiness when they found each other or sadness when they didn't. She wishes she had the strength to stand there each day when the ferry came in, hoping and praying he would saunter of that boat with a smirk on his face. 

Poe had been discharged in September 1944 after being shot down by German forces in the battle of Dunkirk. He had been lucky enough to land in the water and was fished out by a British fisherman. None of them knew how to contact him, so when he came home in relatively good health, Rey had to be the one to tell him Ben would never come home. Poe and him were never the closest, but she saw her friend cry for the first time that day. 

The twins loved Poe, and listened intently to his stories of piloting planes everywhere across Europe. His nickname had become Fly Boy and he had gotten it painted on his prized fighter, which now sat in pieces on the bottom of the English Channel. The twins always wanted to hear stories about Flyboy and his adventures fighting bad guys. They always asked if their papa was the doctor helping in the hospital, and Poe always nodded to them with a smile. With a fresh face, they asked him so many questions about Ben, if not to get every piece of information they could gather on a man they'd never truly know. 

They all tried their best to move on, especially when Rose was sent home earlier that month. She had never seen much more than a couple of air raids, but had the stories to prove how awful the war truly was.

They never really had a memorial for Ben, she couldn't handle the idea of planning something when not all of her loved ones were home. She wasn't ready for the concrete proof that he was truly gone. She and the twins had made a small wreath of flowers for him and floated it down the river near his parents house. Anakin was convinced it would sail all they way across the ocean and bring Papa home; Rey wasn't quite so convinced.

With all her friends home things felt normal again, but she could never truly overcome the gaping hole in her heart. She woke everyday with the hope Ben would stride back into her life, but he never did. She hadn’t received a letter from him in two years and had no communication since her letter from the government. She had stopped going to the Army office last year, after they kept telling her there was nothing they could do, he had been confirmed dead and unless there was concrete evidence of his survival, he would remain a confirmed death. 

“Thank you for taking them, I just needed some time to myself.” She smiles, hugging her uncle as the two now crazy four year old's run into her childhood home. They always came over to see him, he spoiled them absolutely rotten every chance he got.

“Anytime darling, anytime. I can’t promise I won’t feed them their weight in ice cream though.” He grins, as she turns with a wave. Leia and Han doted on their grandchildren, but her uncle was on a whole other level. 

“I won’t be back for a couple of hours, if you wouldn’t mind walking them home before bedtime that’d be wonderful.” She nods, turning to start her walk into town. 

“Have fun!” He calls back before turning to dote on the twins. 

She had taken to reading on the docks of the harbor during the afternoons. It had first started as waiting for hours to see if Ben came home when rumor's of soldiers arriving home would hit the city. She never saw him, and as the War started to end, the ferries came less and less. Finn was convinced she would never move on if she kept going, but she insisted she just need a couple of hours to herself. It just so happened those hours were spent near the harbor. 

She never stopped, and each afternoon that a ferry came in she would sit on the pier with a book and read. She enjoyed the sun, and sometimes the twins would join her and fish off the dock with Han. Today had been a good day, so she came by herself. She had gone back to working at the library, and being in a new place again made her worries disappear. She was finally starting to feel whole again, and the Ben sized hole in her heart was just starting to shrink. 

There was only meant to be one ferry arriving, mostly full of medical discharges from Germany. Rose always had the inside information from the hospital, and was prompt in giving this information to Rey. She was thankful for her friend's support, but she knew they were getting worried. 

“Rey, you’ve barely touched your dinner.” Leia had mentioned the night before with a look of worry. 

“It’s alright, I ate earlier.” She smiled, wiping some crumbs off Anakin’s chin. 

“I know you’re worried, but you need to eat kid.” Han weighs in quietly from across her. She smiled at him but continued to dote on her son, ignoring the warnings of her in-laws. 

She’s been re-reading her favorite novels from primary school, Anne of Green Gables. It remined her of those early days in school, when her biggest worry was whether or not Ben really liked her back. She still considered the two of them kindred spirits, even if he wasn't there with her anymore. He really was her Gilbert, and she desperately wanted her Gilbert to come home to her. 

The novels romanticized the island, but in the last few years she truly began to realize the beauty. The summers were warm, but the beaches were stunning and the water cooled their flushed cheeks. They went skating on the lake in the winter, and she cried laughing as she watched her two clumsy children try to skate their way across the slippery surface. 

The more they grew the more they reminded her of Ben, or what she remembered of him. It had been nearly five years since he left her on this very dock, with the promise of his return. Everyday she came here reminded her of that, as well as the tags hanging around her neck. 

She can sense the air cooling as the sun begins to slip into sunset, yet she stays on the wooden dock. She had taken her shoes off earlier to dip her toes on the cool water. The last ferry had just arrived, but she didn't give it a second look. Unless her husband was leaving that boat, she had absolutely no interest in it. 

She already knows she’ll be disappointed by the disembarking passengers. 

She can hear the wood creak at the end of the dock, but she pays it no attention. Plenty of loved up teenagers and children came this way after class, she had seen it every other evening. She decides it’s getting late, the twins will be wanting their nightly kisses before bed. 

She doesn’t notice the man standing at the end of the dock until her shoes are back on and her book is tucked under her arm. She has to push a piece of hair behind her ear to look at him fully, but she gasps when she does. It's as if she's seeing a ghost, and she has to gently pinch her arm to make sure she isn't. Maybe she really was going crazy and her friends were actually right. 

He’s slimmer, but still as tall and handsome as he was all those years ago. His hair is still the same length, but sits messily on his head. It looks as though shaky hands have run through it a hundred times, and there's a smile playing on his lips under a noticeable five o’clock shadow. His uniform isn't nearly as fitted as it used to be, but his stature is still as tall as it was the last time she saw him. 

“B-Ben.” She whispers, as if he'll actually hear her. 

She screeches his name multiple times, dropping her book and running down the length of the wooden dock. Boards creak under her heels, but she pays little attention; running directly into his awaiting arms. He's solid and real and she can't believe he's standing in front of her. 

“They told me you were dead, I thought I lost you.” She sobs, tears staining the fabric of his uniform. His jacket is dirtied with gunpowder and mud and the white of his red cross armband is more of a beige. She can feel him nuzzle into her shoulder, his hair falling over his forehead. 

“I thought I was dead, for a long time.” He whispers, pulling her up and wiping the tears from her cheeks. “I went on a very long, over extended journey to find you again my love."

“Why didn’t you come home, it's been two years Ben." She asks, pulling away to look into his eyes.

“I tried, I was in another country, I couldn't find another English speaker for a long time." His eyes are kind but worried. "I got picked up on the side of the road by some American, but they couldn't do much more than get me to a Canadian military office." She nods along to his story, her arms wrapped tightly around his midsection.

"I tried to tell them, but my tags were missing so they had no proof. I knew they had confirmed me dead, I knew that you would've thought the same thing this whole time." He grimaces. She only just notices the scar bisecting his face. 

“What happened?” She asks, tracing the red line with her finger. 

“Angry German, in a pub last year.” He chuckles, capturing her hands in his. "I'll tell you more, but for now you need to know I'm sorry." 

“You should’ve written Ben, it’s been two years.” She starts to cry again … so does he. 

“I know. I tried to write but then the post offices were overloaded and nothing was getting out of the country. I didn’t know where I was for the first couple of months, everything looked the same.” He grimaces, wiping his own tears. "I couldn't afford the postage half the time." 

“Everyone came home, except for you.” Her information gives him hope, the hope that she hadn’t been alone these last few years. 

“I saw Finn, right after his surgery. I should’ve told him you were pregnant, but I thought you would want to tell him yourself.” He smiles, “I should’ve told him more, but we never thought it was going to go on this long.” 

“He’s like a father to them, they adore him and Poe.” She smiles back, pulling away to look at him in full. 

“Will they know who I am, did you tell them that I was dead?” He asks, gripping at her hands. His knuckles are scarred and rough. 

“Ani has your picture in a frame on his bedside, and prays every night he’ll get to meet his Papa. Allana asks me to tell stories about you every night before bed.” This really makes him cry, and he falls to his knees in front of her. 

“I’m so sorry Rey, I haven’t been here. I wasn’t here to help you when they were newborns … I’ve missed so much.” 

“It’s okay Ben. They love you, they’ll be so happy to see you.” She smiles, pulling his head against her legs. "Everyone else … well they'll be more shocked than happy I think."

She lets him cry, and eventually drops down to hug him against her. She shows him the tags that have been around her neck for the last two years, and smiles when he kisses her for the first time in five. They walk home in the fading light as Ben takes in the sights and sounds of peace. He had gotten so used to the sounds of war … the sounds of death. The quiet chirping of grasshoppers and the screams of happy children brings a smile to his face. 

“Don’t be nervous.” Rey smiles, squeezing his hand. 

When they round the corner to his parents house, she can see the twins seated on the steps of the porch waiting for her to return like they did every night. She gently opens the front gate, alarming only Anakin at first. He looks up from his book, a confused look covering his small face when he realizes she’s not alone. It takes him a second to recognize Ben’s face but he soon throws his book down and begins running in their direction. 

“Papa!” He shrieks, running into Ben’s open awaiting arms. She can see the smile erupt on her husband's cheeks when Allana follows close behind. It's as if they had done this a hundred times before, without a care in the world. It reminds she really must remind they about talking to strangers … not that Ben is a stranger to them, only in the traditional sense. 

“Papa, you came home.” She smiles as he scoops them both up into his arms and hugs them against his chest. 

“I promised your Momma I would, didn’t I? I’m sorry it took this long.” He nuzzles each of their noses against his own, tears falling on his cheeks. The giggle and cry and once they’ve gotten their fill they squirm out of his arms and into Rey’s. 

“Ben?” She hears Leia screech from behind her before the old woman is barreling into her son's awaiting arms. "I thought we lost you forever."

As much as Leia had been her rock these last few years, she had still come to the realization her son was dead. She never really showed her grief, but Rey would sometimes catch her praying for him before bed. Once the reunions are up and both parents are able to put the twins to bed together for the first time, they retire to bed. They decide they’ll call everyone over tomorrow for a proper hello, but for now they need their time together. 

“They’re so perfect sweetheart, you’ve done so well.” Ben smiles when they’ve stripped to their sleep clothes and she’s cuddled into his chest. It’s almost euphoric to be back in his arms, and she’ll be forever grateful for his safe return. She dreamed of this day, but when all hope was lost she figured that sleeping along or with two toddlers for the rest of her life wasn't too bad. 

“They’re half yours Ben, we both had a part in that.” She smirks, earning a laugh from her husband. 

“You know what I mean, they’re so smart for their age. You’ve done so well on your own.” 

“I’ve hardly been on my own, I’ve had much more help than you’d like to think.” She replies, nuzzling her head against his shoulder. 

“Either way, you’re the strongest woman I’ve ever known. I may have been fighting a war, but you’ve been fighting your own battles here.” He whispers. She can sense the lull of sleep crashing over him from the tone of his voice. 

“I love you Ben, and don’t worry. There’s still so much time, I think I’d like to have another one.” 

  
“Would you? I don’t think I’d mind that really.” He replies, pulling her closer. 

“They’re so sweet when they're young, not the same as the two rascals we have now.” She can feel him nod against her, his breathing starting to even out. 

“Mhm, I love you sweetheart.” He grins gently, as his finger traces the skin of her shoulder. They fall asleep quickly, probably the quickest she has in the last five years. 

Two months later when she pulls him into the reading room just before supper with a wide grin on her face, he guesses the news immediately. He drops gently to his knees and hugs her midsection, whispering to the growing life that sits there. 

“A second chance?” He asks simply, looking up at her with sparkling eyes. She nods with a smile, and as she begins to reply, he stops her. 

“You know, everyday I would pick a different memory of you and play it over and over and over again in my mind-” He confesses to her, his one hand clutching at hers and the other resting softly on her stomach. 

“Until every hair, every freckle, every part of you was as exactly as I remembered.” He smiles, kisses her stomach and stands back to his full height. When the summer breeze floats through their open window that night, Rey falls asleep in Ben’s arms, giddy and excited for the rest of their quiet but perfect life together. It’s all she could ever ask for, and she’s happy for the relief of it. 

Ben’s admission lets her forget the lonely nights, the worried days as a pregnant newlywed, and the constant questions from their unknowing children. His words let her forget the times of hardship and worry, instead replacing them with a father's love for his children and the blossoming of new life.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you to everyone who read this, it isn't much but it's made me very excited these past couple days. If you are interested in other historical works, you can find my Regency AU "A Field of Grandeur" on my profile. 
> 
> I am hoping to reach a follower goal by the end of year on Tumblr ... I'm only 16 away! So if you like what you read you can follow me @writermads on Tumblr for more fics and "hopefully" new updates of AFOG!


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